Life is just easier sober. I haven’t put a post up in a while because, selfishly, it’s been easy for me to stay sober the past few months. Even with the loss of my dad. Drinking alcohol never entered my mind. I dealt with a broken heart, tears anger, and rage. But I never thought drinking would be a good idea.
When I had three and half years of sobriety the thought of drinking entered my mind whenever I felt stressed. And adventually, I gave in to having a few cold beers. We all know what happens after a few cold beers. More, more, more, more...
I wasn’t about to make that mistake again.
It’s nice to deal with life on life’s terms. Give sobriety a shot. If you fail, get back up and give it another go. The payoff is well worth it.
The power of music is pretty cool. For motivation, I always went to the classics, like Led Zeppelin or the Stones. But joining Apple Music has opened me up to a new world and taught me that with new music I don't live in past memories. With new music, I have new experiences that motivate and inspire me. The Record Company is now my go to music for exercise. The Decemberists and The Chainsmokers I use to clean or do routine work in my office. I've never bought a county album, CD or song unless you count Willie Nelson, but when I heard Kenny Chesney sing the song - Sing 'Em Good My Friend I broke down in tears thinking about the love I had and still have for my dad. They were tears of love that I'm forever grateful for and I downloaded two of his albums.
If you've been stuck with the same music over the years - give apple music a try. It's been a lot of fun and helped me a lot.
Have fun today. Try something new.
love to you all.
Dealing with the loss of a loved one sucks. No way to sugar coat it. In March, my father had a mild stroke. In the hospital - his health turned for the worse and he passed away twelve days later. He was a man who always stood by my side. A man who always took the high road. He never judged or talked badly about anyone. He never complained about life's circumstances. He always looked at the bright side of life and he was always there for me and my siblings.
Being able to process his death while sober is a blessing. Life really is short. Enjoy the moment.
You're probably thinking the same thing I did, an actor giving life advice? Come on. But this is really good. If you have the time check it out.
Taking ownership of everything you have, and everything you don’t have - will set you free. Living in the past is a waste of time. What if I had done this? What if I had done that? What if I had saved money instead of blown it?
Learn from your past and let it go. You are where you are. Accept it. Get up and do something for someone else today. Once you accept your circumstances, and once you accept drinking booze doesn’t work for you, your life will improve instantly.
(Some quick random notes from the documentary If You're Not In The Obit, Eat Breakfast.
I only got to watch the last half but loved it. They talk about living a good life in your 90's and above
Here you go:
"No booze, no tobacco, and plenty of good sex" said one guy in his 90's stacking fire wood. He was in great shape, and had a great smile.
Another said, Interacting face to face with others six hours a day or more. Sitting for breakfast, lunch or happy hour (not sitting online with others, real face to face). (Happy hour doesn't have to involve booze. It could be a fresh squeezed juice happy hour.)
Be the boss of your body.
Eat for nutrition not for taste.
Do what you need to do, not what you want to do
Now that we don't drink - it's time to get out and mingle.
Alcoholism is scary, especially for me. At times I’ve been able to drink in moderation, six – eight beers a night and nothing more. No wild and crazy events. Just drink and go to bed. Especially when I got older. I learned to control how much I drank during the week. But booze has a way of always catching up and beating me. Sucking the life out of me until the flame inside me burns out. I forget that at times. Like now, I’ve been fighting the flu for two weeks, and I'm sick of feeling like crap. The thought of a stiff drink has entered my mind a lot the past few days. Why not, my additive brain says over and over when I let my guard down. Because, I don’t want to be a slave to alcohol again, I remind myself. All I have to do is ride this bug out a few more days and get back into exercising. I have to remind myself how good it is to wake up without a hangover
A friend’s son called me last week to ask how I quit drinking. His goal was to quit for the New Year.
“Have you stopped before” I asked him.
“Yes, a bunch of times. Once I quit for two months”
“Why did you start again?” I asked
“My girlfriend said I was no fun and that I was much nicer when I was drinking.”
“Have you tried to control how much you drink?” I asked.
He lowered his voice and said. “Yea, pretty much every time I go out I tell myself I’m only going to have a few”
“You should check out an AA meeting. I can take you to one” I said.
“Oh God, no. I’m not an alcoholic. AA is for alcoholics. I just can’t control my drinking. And these cravings are killing me. I just can’t stop thinking about booze,” He said.
“What’s so funny?” He asked.
“You sound just like me twenty years ago. I believed it too. I wasted a lot of years trying to prove to myself that there was no such thing as an alcoholic, that I could stop drinking on my own. Some people can. I wasn’t one of them. I use a support group. And I take it one day at a time. It makes my life a lot easier” I told him.
“I’m not an alcoholic and I’m not going to AA. He said.
“You might not be an alcoholic. I might not be one either. All I know is, whenever I drink I want to drink more. And when I’m drinking, I wake up in the morning and the first thing I think of is alcohol. When can I have a drink? I become preoccupied with booze. Alcohol is on my mind twenty-four seven when I’m drinking. I don’t drink now and haven’t for a while, but I still think about a drink once in a while. Usually during beer commercial, a movie or a walk down the wrong isle in the Supermarket. I’ll forget about the addiction I had and the cravings that took over my life. I start to think that maybe I could have a cold beer. I deserve it. I’ve been sober a long time. It will be different this time. But now, I’m able to think the first drink through. I think about what will happen after I have that first beer. I think about what will happen after I have the second, third and fourth. I think about how I’ll feel the next day. I’ll think about the anxiety that comes with drinking too much or not drinking enough. I remind myself that once I pick up that first beer my entire life becomes about booze. I remind myself of how many nights I promised myself I’d quit the next morning. And how when I wake up in the morning my body knows it’s going to need a drink in the afternoon to ease the pain. And how I’ll need to drink a lot that next night to go to sleep. I’ll remember the vicious cycle of cravings and satisfying those cravings with more booze. It’s a living hell that I don’t want to experience again. I wasn’t able to stop without a support group. Maybe you can. Give it a shot. But don’t beat yourself up if you fail. Start again. Keep trying. I don’t know anyone that succeeded in staying sober the first time.” I said
He was silent. I thought maybe he had hung up.
“Yea” he said in a low voice. “The cravings suck. They really suck. I gotta go.”
“Don’t beat yourself up. You’ll be fine if you get some help. It doesn’t have to be AA. But don’t rule it out. Call me tomorrow okay?”
“Yea. Yea, I will. Thanks man” he said and hung up.
If your cravings for booze take over your daily thoughts, this New Year could be an excellent time to start a life without booze. Talk to your doctor, listen to some blogs, read some books, check out an AA meeting. Give sobriety a shot. Allow yourself to fail until you succeed. It’s not easy but it sure is a lot more fun to live life without booze.
Happy New Year.
AA is a cult
AA is full of losers
AA is all about religion
AA pisses me off
AA is a waste of time
I’m done with AA
I’ve said all of the above and more. I’ve bitched about the way AA meetings are run, bitched about people smoking and over eating while saying how great sobriety is. Really, I’d think to myself. You’re going to die of lung cancer or diabetes and you’re telling me how to live. I’d pretend to listen while planning my escape.
Going to AA used to piss me off and it still does sometimes. Certain meetings or members will rub me the wrong way and I’ll swear I’m done with AA. But nine out of ten times I’ll hear something in the meeting that will help me stay sober and become a better human being.
I used to go online years ago and look up how to get sober, I found a lot of sites, books and some rehabs that bashed AA. They wrote about how bad AA was and how good their book, seminar and podcast they were selling was. They wanted my money. And most of them got it. But, I couldn’t find anyone that had been sober more then five years that did it on their own. I’m still looking.
It took me a long time to realize that AA wasn’t bad, just certain meetings that I was going to were bad for me. I’d sit in those meetings and think, my god, I don’t want to become like any of these people. So I’d bounce in and out of the AA program until someone turned me onto a Men’s Saturday morning meeting thirty miles from my house. I walked in, and bingo, I was sold. The men were open and honest with their feelings. They didn’t preach, make promises or quote from the big book. They didn’t brag about how much they drank. They discussed life; their challenges and how they stayed sober one day at a time. The room had a mix of Landscapers, Professors, Painters, Policemen, Doctors, Lawyers and Salesman. It didn’t matter what anyone did. All that mattered was open, honest communication.
That men’s meeting sold me on AA and even though we moved away I continue to go to AA in our new community. Not all the meetings I go to are great. Some meetings, I just don’t like and rarely go back to. But every week I find at least one meeting that helps me stay sober and centered for the day. Last Saturday I got to go back to that Men’s meeting for the first time in a year. It was even better then I remembered.
If you’re new to sobriety and having trouble finding a good meeting don’t give up. Keep trying new meetings. Go to other areas and keep going until you find one you love. It makes all the difference in the world. All of sudden sobriety becomes fun.
Powerful video below on Millennials but motivational for all. Simon Sinek will inspire you to make some changes.